Your choice of funeral director doesn’t have to decide your choice of celebrant
Since becoming a celebrant I have lots of people saying to me “I’d love you to be our family’s celebrant, but we’re using xxx funeral directors”.
So, here’s something about being an independent celebrant that’s perhaps not immediately obvious.
And, given that I’ve spent much of my career helping people make things clear, I probably ought to explain it!
You can choose me to conduct a funeral regardless of which funeral director you use.
It really is that simple.
I work closely with funeral directors and hugely value those relationships. We each have a part to play in helping families say goodbye, and bringing everything together takes care, communication and a fair bit of teamwork.
But I’m independent. I don’t work for a particular funeral director, so which director you use doesn’t need to dictate your choice of celebrant.
Perhaps you already know me or you’ve been to a funeral I’ve conducted and felt that my approach would suit your family. Perhaps someone has recommended me. Or perhaps you’ve had a look around this website and thought, “yes, I think we could talk to him.”
Whatever the reason, you can ask for me.
Of course, choosing a celebrant probably isn’t something most people spend much time thinking about until they need one.
And when that moment comes, there can suddenly be rather a lot of decisions to make, while you’re still trying to take in what’s happened.
Your funeral director may suggest someone they regularly work with. That can be a helpful starting point, particularly when you have no idea where to begin.
But if you already have someone in mind, you can say so.
A simple “we’d like Christian Lockyer to conduct the service, please” is enough to start the conversation. Your funeral director can then contact me to check my availability and bring me into the arrangements.
You can also get in touch with me directly, whether you’ve chosen a funeral director yet or not.
So why does that choice matter?
Well, the person leading the funeral is going to hear quite a lot about your family. The lovely things, the difficult things, the funny things, and occasionally the things that prompt someone to say, “you’re definitely not putting that in the tribute!”
You need to feel comfortable talking to them.
My part begins with listening. Finding out who the person was, what mattered to them, and how you’d like them to be remembered.
Then comes the writing, bringing those memories together into words that sound like the person you knew. And finally, delivering them with warmth and care, making space for the sadness, but also the smiles and laughter.
I can also be there to help you plan music and images on the day, and prepare the order of service sheet.
I work alongside your funeral director to help make that happen, with each of us looking after our part of the day.
So if you’d like me to help tell someone’s story, please do ask.
Your choice of funeral director doesn’t have to change that. And I’d consider it a real privilege to be part of their goodbye.
